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<table style="TABLE-LAYOUT: fixed;"><tbody><tr><td><div class="cnt"><p style="WORD-BREAK: break-all; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">1</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">．吃了汽油不用抽烟</span></font></font></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">丈夫：快送我去医院，刚才呛了口汽油！</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">妻子：（慢条斯里地）唤，没事，你这几天不抽烟就得了。</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">2</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">．不是酒精是乙醇</span></font></font></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">长途客运汽车站。一个男子拎着一大桶东西急匆匆地奔过来，正挤着人群想上车，售票员问：<span>"</span>哎哎，这是什么东西？</font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/></span>男子一边闯气一边往上挤说：<span>"</span>酒精<span>"</span>。</font></font></font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">"</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">不行，不行，这可是易燃物，不能带上车的，<span>"</span>售票反皱着眉头。</span></font></font></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">这男子又嚷道：<span>"</span>这是乙醇<span>"</span>。</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">"</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">干嘛不早说？呵呵，快上！<span>"</span>售票员笑着抱怨。</span></font></font></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2">客车终于启动了<span>……</span></font></font></font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">3</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">．可溶物</span></font></font></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">一个化学家，一个物理学家和一个地质学家沿着海滩散步，忽然物理学家说他要测量一下海的深度，就跳到了海里；地质学家说他要看看海底，也随后跳了下去，化学家等了一会不见他们出现，于是得出结论：物理学家和地质学家在海水中是可溶的。</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">4</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">．容易化学</span></font></font></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体"></font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">一日在机场碰到一位同乡，他问起我在国外学什么的，我说：<span>"</span>溶液化学。<span>"</span>他说：<span>"</span>老兄客气了，哪有容易的化学。</font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/>5</span>．还有菜吗</font></font></font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>?<br/></span>化学课上老师讲解溶剂与溶质的关系：<span>"</span>一定的溶剂只能溶解一定的溶质。比如说，你吃了一碗饭，又吃了一碗，第三碗吃下去已经饱了，你还能吃下去吗</font></font></font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>?"<br/></span>有个学生问：<span>"</span>还有菜吗</font></font></font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>?"<br/>7</span>．言之有理</font></font></font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">化学课开始了，老师经过一通理论说教后，进入了实验阶段。<span>"</span>同学们注意了，<span>"</span>老师郑重其事地说：<span>"</span>我手上有一块银元，现在我要把它投进这杯硫酸里面，回想一下我刚才讲过的内容，银元会溶解吗？</font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/></span>立刻有一个声音答道：<span>"</span>不会。</font></font></font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/>"</span>为什么？<span>"</span>老师追问道。</font></font></font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">"</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">如果银元会溶解的话，您一定舍不得投进硫酸里面。</font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/>8</span>．理化课</font></font></font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">某日上理化课 ，老师宣布下节课要小考。小明紧张地立即举手问老师会不会考得很难，老师只说了一句：十分简单。乐得大家拍手叫好，可是考完后每个人都考得惨不忍睹，怎么会简单呢？于是小明又问了老师，只听老师说：我可没说错哦，十分简单，剩下九十分很难 ！ </font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">9</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">．冒烟了</font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>!<br/></span>某天学生正在实验室作实验时<span>…</span>。猛然一抬头<span>…</span>。奇怪？？窗外未何一直有浓烟冒出？学长一声哇！糟糕，立刻夺门而出<span>…</span>。过了一会儿，老师一脸无奈的从外头回来<span>…</span>。我们著急的问：发生啥事了吗？结果，老师面无表情的回答：有人在发动车子！</font></font></font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">10</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">．水的化学式</span></font></font></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">某校化学考试时甲偷偷问乙说水的化学式是什么？</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">"</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">Ｈ<span>2</span>Ｏ</font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/></span>结果甲在试卷上写出</font></font></font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span> hijklmno<br/>11. </span>吵架</font></font></font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">化学老师买五斤肉就被少了五两秤，太气愤了！于是前去理论。</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2">化学老师扶扶眼镜<span>:"</span>师傅，或许你今天多喝了几杯乙醇，没认清秤星吧，肉是氢、氧、碳三种元素的结合，难道你这肉氢和氧结合得太多了<span>?</span>照理说肉是脂肪，不是汽油煤油这些烃一类物质<span>,</span>怎么这么快就挥发了<chmetcnv unitname="克" sourcevalue="250" hasspace="False" negative="False" numbertype="1" tcsc="0"></chmetcnv><chmetcnv></chmetcnv></font></font><span><chmetcnv unitname="克" sourcevalue="250" hasspace="False" negative="False" numbertype="1" tcsc="0"></chmetcnv><chmetcnv></chmetcnv><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2">250<font face="宋体">呢</font></font></font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>?"<br/></span>杀猪匠眼睛一鼓<span>:"</span>老子是巷道里赶猪<span>--</span>直来直去。你绿蚊子吃屎<span>,</span>瞎嗡些啥呀</font></font></font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>?"<br/>12</span>．表面张力</font></font></font></span><font color="#945ea2" size="3">克</font></font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">两个生物化学家坐在实验室前喝咖啡，有个美丽的女人从外面走过。较老成持重的生化家看到他同事脸上痴呆的神色，便说道：她跟我们一样，百分之七十五以上是水。</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">同事依旧神色痴呆著说：是的，可是你看看人家的表面张力！</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">13</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">．物质不灭定律</span></font></font></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">老师：<span>"</span>你能解释，<span>'</span>物质不灭定律<span>'</span>吗？</font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/></span>学生：<span>"</span>上月我家买了<span>100</span>斤蜂窝煤，烧完后留下的煤灰还是<span>100</span>斤，这就是物质不灭定律。</font></font></font><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3"><span>"<br/></span></font></span><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">14</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;">．四氧化三铅</span></font></font></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">化学课上，一正呼呼大睡的学生被老师叫起，问：<span>"</span>你知道我说的四氧化三铅是怎么回事吗？</font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/></span>学生慢慢地张开睡眼，懵懵懂懂地答：<span>"</span>老师，我只有一对眼，怎么会知道四眼发三枪是啥回事。</font></font></font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/>15</span>．铁和金</font></font></font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">老师问学生：<span>"</span>孩子们，如果将一块铁，扔在庭院里时间长了它会发生什么变化呢？</font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/>"</span>它的上面上会生一层锈。</font></font></font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/>"</span>对了，如果是一块金子呢？</font></font></font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/>"</span>那它早就不见了。</font></font></font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>"<br/>16</span>．化学课</font></font></font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体" color="#945ea2" size="3">高中某一节化学课，老师在黑板上抄写板书<span>"</span>金属元素与元素周期表的性质关系<span>"</span>，可老师一粗心没把<span>"</span>性质<span>"</span>的<span>"</span>质<span>"</span>字写到黑板上，结果黑板上斗大的字<span>"</span>金属元素与元素周期表的性关系<span>"</span>，众皆晕到，尤其是前排的一女生趴在桌上笑了半节课</font><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2"><span>
<br/>17</span>．固态锌</font></font></font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #003366; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><font face="宋体"><font size="3"><font color="#945ea2">高一刚开学不久的一节化学课上，年轻的化学老师正兴致勃勃地讲课，教室里一片寂静。<span>"</span>我们初中时，曾学过怎样制作氢气，很简单，是用固态锌和稀盐酸反应来<span>……"</span>话未说完，却见众人已笑得前俯后仰；此时，前桌一男生忽地站起来，慢吞吞地慎重其事地说道：<span>"</span>陈老师，我是顾泰兴（固态锌）！<span>"</span>化学老师定睛一看，忍俊不禁：<span>"</span>哦，原来如此！<span>"</span></font></font></font></span></p></div></td></tr></tbody></table> |
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